The great wall of … love = pranks
Mandy Lan, Group 2: Fiction, Pui Kiu College
he world under the great wall of China is beautiful, don’t you think? It’s lovely up here … I never want
to go home … And get married with this crooked nose prince of Shang Hai … “Princess Anne
Princess Anne! Prince Tom is here for dinner!” my bodyguard yelled. I grabbed a branch of a willow
tree and … SWING! Yay! Try your best to find me bodyguard, I pray you get fired!
This
I’m Anne Chan, a princess you may say. No! Don’t misunderstand, it’s 2056, not the 18
th
century!
is the modern world with Ipads, Samsung, disco, air conditioners and the best combo ever : 5D
TVs + multi censor X-Box kinect! Boo Yah! And I know, I know China’s not supposed to have kings & queens,
only the Great Wall but …You see in the 2040’s my dad - the president of China declared himself king, the
citizens supported my dad because they thought he looked hot (he was twenty at that time, with six packs) , so
after dad became the king , he grabbed a pretty girl off the street and BOOM! I arrived! These years, dad gets a
new mistress every month, mom gets her money and jewels from being the queen. They don’t love each other.
And they definitely don’t have time for a “nuisance” like me. That’s the reason why they want to ship me off
with some random, ugly, rich dude from Shang Hai with a crooked nose, who calls himself “Prince of Shang
Hai”, more like “WIMP of Shang Hai”. Oh No! Bodyguard!
T
* * *
Urgh! Got dragged into the palace to meet Mr. Prince downright ugly, again! First mom meets a guy and
has me, then she ruins my life by suggesting an arranged marriage for me! Great, mom! You want to ruin my
life... fine! I'll sort it out myself !
"
Good evening, Prince Tom Lookalikeofahugezombiewithahugebellyandsuperuncool!"
"
Darling, it's not so nice to call your fiancé like that, his name is Tom Li. Isn't he cute?"
"
MOM DARLING, FYI, firstly I hate cool guys , I much prefer them HOT! Secondly, I'm just sixteen and
you expect me to marry! EVEN WORST, you expect me to marry Mr.EW ! Thirdly, he's GROSS and so not
CUTE! BYE!"
I headed up to my bedroom.
"
Anne! You come back here!"
I shot back at here, "GOODBYE CONVERSATION ! HELLO BEDROOM!" The door was slammed
behind me.
* * *
I got to pack. Fast! I overheard my mom saying I am marrying Mr.UGLY tomorrow! So to avoid that
from happening I'm going to...KOREA, where my BFF - Mary, THE MOST TRUSTABLE PERSON STAYS!
Handbags ... CHECK ... Passport Check... Call to BFF ... CHECK ... Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day !
* * *
I hauled over a cab and na na na na na! BYE China! No more line butters anymore! WOAH! The Great
Wall looks beautiful from this angle! Wait!
"
STOP THE TAXI! KEEP THE CHANGE!"
It's just three AM , so no one's awake ; including Mr.Ugly , mom , dad , dumb bodyguard ... = conclusion =
No one will find out = SUCKERS! YAY! And to people who think: Princesses always wear gowns and have
perfect make up ... Well no! I'm wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Another point to me = No one will catch me!
BLAH!
"
Ah! Fresh air," Unknowingly I started talking to the Wall, "Great Wallie, being a princess is so
stressful! They expect too much, they don't care about me," *sob* "I'm gonna miss you Wallie ...SEE
YA...""AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" *CRASH**FAINTED FROM EXHAUSTION*
* * *
"
Where in the world am I ... Why am I in an aeroplane ... WHERE'S WALLIE?!"
"
Hey beauty, what you're up to!"
"
None of your business, cree...” Woah he was HOT! With a capital H!
"
EXCUSE ME, BUT WHO ARE YOU ?"
"
So beautiful but so stupid! Why I'm Mary's bro..." He hesitated for a moment then smiled and said, "I'm
your Wallie ." I poked a finger to his chest, (so muscular) "You're Wallie? YEAH, RIGHT! I'M THE QUEEN
OF ENGLAND!"
"
Nope! Wrong answer! You're Princess Anne! Being a Princess is so stressful ... I'll miss ya ,Wallie”
I know it isn't princess-like to have your mouth hanging open, but in some situations like this, it's
impossible to avoid!