I was trapped by the past memories that still lingered in my mind like looming white shadows in the dark.
I was utterly confused, but I decided I wasn't going to be scared: I hadn't done anything wrong. I remember the
soldier's dagger eyes that drove deep into me, his strong arms that propelled me underground, the big clanging
keys that locked the big iron doors of my cellar, but I was positive that I was innocent. It's been a long time now,
I don't know exactly because I never saw day and night here in the dark. I heard the noises though: the terrified
screams from the people who were executed, the whimpering of wretches being beaten, the agonized cries from
the people slaving away. Even though I wasn't working anymore and I was suffering less physical pain, but
something else was burning away in my heart, it hurt even more.
Tap, tap, tap...
I heard footsteps coming this way. I froze, not daring to breathe. The same soldier who took me here
approached me.
"
Come with me."
I was released from the chains and reluctantly followed after him. He took me to this big hall where the
Emperor sat upon a high throne studded with golden gems. He had many ladies nearby keeping him company
and was feasting upon the finest food and wine I've ever known. Just seeing him made me sick, I knew I hated
him.
"
Why am I here?" I demanded.
"
Oh relax, it's just that you have some surprise visitors that have been waiting for you for the past few
weeks." The Emperor replied with a smug smile.
You will never guess who I saw...
My family.
I was too stunned for words. They ran towards me, tears streaming down their bony faces.
"
Why did you ask to see me? You know I could be killed after this."
"
We know," Niang said, tears still pouring down her cheeks, "Forgive us for doing so, I know we are
terribly selfish. It's just we've been missing you too much and we can't take it anymore. San Mei here is not
willing to carry on with her studies and I know you are the only one who could talk her into it again. Sorry you
have to sacrifice, my dear son, but you know it's not every day they kill people, right? You still have a chance,
don't you?"
I couldn't bear it, of course I knew there wasn't a chance at all.
"
Come here, San Mei." I knelt beside her. "I know you are sensible and you are smart, no matter what
happens to us in the end, promise you won't give up on yourself. You will get married and get a job in The
Palace, you can still lead a splendid and carefree life. Promise you obey Niang when you get home?"
She looked at me with her big innocent eyes, "If I do so, can you buy me a piece of candy from the candy
store when you come home?"
I swallowed hard, and couldn't help it; I felt tears welling in my eyes. "Yes, I promise you that."
"
Yay!" San Mei bounded off to Niang and stopped, "When will you be back?"
I looked at her, must I lie to this young girl? I realized the painful truth. "Very soon, San Mei, very soon."
I was soon led to the execution room, there laid a wooden board with a large knife above attached to a
pulley. I knew how this worked a bit too well. I looked back, and saw Niang sobbing and the girls staring,
totally lost. I took one last look and smiled bravely. I realized that no matter what happened next, I felt peace at
heart, because I knew they were going to be alright.
Just as the doors were closing, I saw the bird look at me with its knowing eyes, then soar off into the
distance.
* * *