opium from the Russians and bankrupted. Your mother was blinded with rage, she left home with you and went
to the Great Wall entrance. But that time, the Russians intruded into our land, she was innocently killed, leaving
you alone. Baba brought you home then.” Gege explained.
My ‘parents’ were murdered by the Russians! I had talked to Russians, they were nice to me, I
couldn’t imagine their ancestors murdered Chinese. A wave of agony surged over me. I somehow detested
China and Russia.
When I went back home, Madam Fuca told us the monks would come soon and they would announce
my foot-binding day.
From my Chinese History teacher, I knew foot-binding was uneasy.
In the autumn of the Year of the Snake (1857, Year Dingyi), three monks came into our house. Baba
invited them into the parlour.
I sat beside Baba. Baba raised his teacup with both hands and bowed slightly. The monk also bowed
in return before taking his tea.
“
For years, we have been studying your daughter’s Eight Character and we have found out her big
day.”
The monks took out a scroll and gave it to Baba.
Baba opened the scroll, there were a few Chinese words on it: Third Day of the Eleventh Moon, The
Year of Snake.
The day finally arrived. Slowly, Madam Fuca wrapped my left foot. My foot felt tight, but it was not
unbearable. She paused for a while.
Madam Fuca suddenly pulled the bandage. I screamed, realizing she was bending my toes into my
sole. The worst excruciating pain shot up throughout my body. Then I saw her small feet, she must have
gone through the same torment. She knew what it was like but she didn’t protect me.
I pushed her onto the floor and hopped into the courtyard, where my Baba would be.
Baba was chatting with his friends about our court. How could everything looked so normal while I
was being afflicted?
“
Baba, save me! She is killing me!”
Everyone stared at me.
“
Who?”
“
Mama!”
Baba looked at me in disbelieve. “Don’t be ludicrous. Though she is not your biological mother, she
loves you as your real mother does.”
“
No, she isn’t. Look what she’s done.”
I quickly ripped off the bandage and raised my foot. It swelled and pus spilled out from my wounds.
My toenails must have cut my sole when I was hopping.
Baba was frightened. I heard someone said, “How can she run here when her feet swell like that?”
I knew my relationship between me and Madam Fuca had never recovered since then.
In the winter of Year Dingyi, someone told the Emperor about Baba’s corruption. Soldiers marched
in and raided our house.
Baba was dismissed from his position as the Magistrate and was forced to suicide. Madame Fuca
cried hysterically and knelt on the ground.
Everything seemed hopeless to me. I whispered to the Great Wall, “Why do you abandon your
people?”
The commoners hissed, malice was shown on everyone’s face. Their glowers pierced through my
skull, making me humiliated.
We reached an inn. The inn was a pandemonium. The opium smell almost suffocated me. Gege
agreed to work for the inn so we could live here.
Our room condition was worse than ever. I crouched on the bare floor; a newt crawled onto my shoes
and I winced. Madam Fuca tottered outside and left me alone.
I sauntered at the street. Everyone scurried back home to meet their loved ones. A boy was strolling
at the street. He was wearing exotic clothes. I supposed he was a foreigner. I approached him.
“
Excuse me, have you seen a women tottering at the street?” I asked in English, hoping he would
understand.
His eyes lightened up. He uttered in Mandarin,
“
You are British?”
“
You are Chinese?” I asked.