Nuo Tan tells me we are the lucky ones. Our boss is the nicest one he’s had. I think different though. He beats
me with his long whip and yells my name, mixing it with words that I’m not even allowed to think, let alone
scream out into the quiet of the night. He should talk. He’s the one sitting there like a fat, lazy, smelly pig, not
me. I work. I work for my life, my family, my freedom. And it seems that this is the only path my life will let
me take.
April 2nd, 221
I don’t get to write enough now, I am afraid I will get caught. Nuo says that if I do, I will be punished
greatly, but I don’t think it can get much worse. I have giant blue/black bags under my tired eyes, and our hands
are raw and the color of fresh salmon. I wish they were salmon. I haven’t had a good meal the whole time I’ve
been here. We get stale bread, rice and slightly salty water for dinner. The thing that worries me is that I have
not gotten any of the money I was promised. I wonder when I will receive it. Maybe I will ask Bu Nuo Tan...
December 30th, 221
I got my first pay yesterday! It’s only a part of what they promised, but maybe it will be enough for my
brother. I just cannot wait to see the look on his face when I tell him! And oh, won’t my parents will be so
proud... Ah, here is Nuo, we are going out early this morning, so that we can spend a while watching the sun
come out before anyone is awake. It is one of the small pleasures here, so I must go while I can.
January 17th, 222
Black, That’s all I saw. My lungs burning as I scream. I couldn’t stop. Staring at the place my only
friend just stood. Now occupied by that rock. I hate that rock. I spit at it, giving it a glare that I didn’t know I
had. Hands pulling me away as I struggled to him. “HE WAS JUST A BOY!” I cried, and a bit softer, “Bu Nuo
Tan, come back to me.” Now I lay alone in this filthy excuse for a room. Scared, unwilling, unable. I never got
to say goodbye to my best friend, to tell him how much I appreciated his company. How much I appreciated him.
I cry harder, raging tears that threaten to break the line between me and insanity.
January 28th, 222
The boss is probably furious, I have not been doing my work. I am too overwhelmed with it all. I can’t
even think straight. I feel that the more they beat me, the more I am unable to work... But for now I close my
eyes and hope for the death that I know will not come so easily...
* * *